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[Critique Request] Calamity

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[Critique Request] Calamity

Post by Ryuu Izou on Fri May 31, 2013 9:41 am

Calamity
by Eternity


Calamity, my lady in red
I give, you take away
Robbed, I am bleeding by the bed
Forgotten, I fade away

Calamity, my brother in arms
We fight the unseen
I seen no end to these harms
You embrace such filth

Calamity, my eternal rival
Robbed and forgotten
No end to the fighting
Faded, flithy and rotten

Calamity, destroyer of worlds
Masses become mumbles
Wretches become howls
Bloodied, broken and in fumbles

Calm, I lay myself flat
Release the lady in red
Stop the brother in arms
Release the eternal rival
Smile to the destroyer of worlds

Seen, but never forgotten
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Ryuu Izou


Posts : 67
Gender : Male
Location : Home

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Re: [Critique Request] Calamity

Post by Icarus on Sat Jun 01, 2013 2:09 am

It's beautiful, tidy and brought together at the end, I love it.
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Icarus


Posts : 114
Gender : Male
Location : Lost in your eyes.

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Re: [Critique Request] Calamity

Post by Ryuu Izou on Sat Jun 01, 2013 4:17 am

Thank you.
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Ryuu Izou


Posts : 67
Gender : Male
Location : Home

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Re: [Critique Request] Calamity

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