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Atlas's Drop

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Atlas's Drop

Post by Icarus on Fri May 31, 2013 4:25 am

I wrote this for my brother last night. He said he liked it, but didn't like the past tense undertones. He said it made it sound like he was dead. Dafuq?
As always, if you see any grammatical errors point them out. ^.^

Atlas

Atlas! Throw down your shoulder! Your knees are weak enough, your back is broken. You need not take this upon yourself any longer. Your body so bloodied from those treacherous spires. So much time you've spent with this weight. Let me take it from you now and forever. There's no other option for you to take. No other way. You must let me take this upon myself. If only for a little while. Soon enough you will rest. Soon enough my dear brother, soon enough. I see your ever weary eyes begin to close now. You need not be forgiven, nor forgotten. My brother, your story will carry on through the ages. The man who stood, with the weight of everyone's world bearing down on him like meteors. But for now. Think not of the troubles and travesty, but a warm bed, with a warm woman. Don't let your mind wander to me and the burden. Allow yourself to slip into a slumber so deep that my cries will not wake you. For I know this weight, I have given up on it long ago. But I will take it upon myself, only for you. Blood and bone never forget what they've been through, even when the mind turns dark and desolate. You've done so much now my brother. It's taken it's toll on your heart, body and mind. I love you brother. Take your time coming back, play a tune in your head, have a smoke. I won't go anywhere. Forever the lover, forever the fighter, you and I. You fight for me, but I've not given anything in turn. So take this as the start of my payment. If it takes lifetimes upon lifetimes I will pay you back. So drop your shoulder, let it match the height of mine so that I may take this bastard from you. Till you're ready once more, and we can vary it together, I'll be here. Always.
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Icarus


Posts : 114
Gender : Male
Location : Lost in your eyes.

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Re: Atlas's Drop

Post by ClassyLPS on Fri May 31, 2013 4:27 am

That gave me the chills. :U
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ClassyLPS


Posts : 576
Location : California, it ain't that sunny..

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Re: Atlas's Drop

Post by Icarus on Fri May 31, 2013 4:48 am

In a good way?
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Icarus


Posts : 114
Gender : Male
Location : Lost in your eyes.

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Re: Atlas's Drop

Post by ClassyLPS on Fri May 31, 2013 4:53 am

Yes, chills are always good bro. :D
I think.
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ClassyLPS


Posts : 576
Location : California, it ain't that sunny..

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Re: Atlas's Drop

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