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Re: Relationships

Post by eromreven on Thu May 30, 2013 5:56 pm

Your lost one's a blonde too?

...Brohug?
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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:30 pm

SID~ wrote:I'm telling you .. Romantic relationships are waste .. Especially if you're young ..

I agree on that. When I was a teenager, I sometimes took them too seriously and was quite disappointed at the end of the day. I was together with a girl when I was 17. Our relationship lasted four years. Although we loved each other a lot, although we had projects, the thing is that the situation/circumstances and lack of maturity from both sides destroyed everything. We wanted to play the adults we were not at this time. Anyway, despite having no more contacts with her, she will remain an important part of my life...

However, it would have been better at this time to take the relationship more lightly because I was really down 2 years long after we broke up.
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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Fri Feb 07, 2014 12:20 pm

I got a question

why would a guy feel awkward to tell a girl he is not interested and that he knows that the girl likes him but he likes someone else?

in a way wouldn't it hurt the girl even more if she had to find out from a friend and not the guy himself?

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Re: Relationships

Post by Azuula on Fri Feb 07, 2014 1:22 pm

^ I definitely would feel really upset if a person I love wouldn't tell me himself and find out by someone else.
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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:21 pm

but what if he feels awkward talking to the girl about that and that is why he never confronted her about it even tho he knows that she likes him

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Re: Relationships

Post by Azuula on Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:29 pm

Well the way I would put as that person is a coward... Not only because he couldn't confront the girl that likes him but by feeling awkward to that one girl who has just opposite feelings towards him. To me it doesn't make sense, really... But there are lots of different types of ways a guy could act towards a girl. I just find this way on the guys side. But that's just me.
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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Fri Feb 07, 2014 4:08 pm

can you list the different ways guys act towards a girl
also I want feedback from the males as well @irielo etc

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sat Feb 08, 2014 2:28 am

^ I think it depends how the guy sees the girl. If it's a friend of him or someone he respects, then he should have the guts and honesty to say that he already loves someone else.

If it's someone he does not really consider, then I think he won't really care.

But the worst imo is when the guy knows it and is not in love with the girl but tries to take advantage of the situation only for his own sake, if you get what I mean...

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Re: Relationships

Post by Yamasaki Akaiko on Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:15 am

That's not really a "guy" thing. Some girls do the same thing (have others tell someone that they're not interested instead of saying it herself). In fact, there are always people regardless of gender who do all things that might be considered "what boys/men do" and "what girls/women do."
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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:21 am

Yamasaki Akaiko wrote:That's not really a "guy" thing. Some girls do the same thing (have others tell someone that they're not interested instead of saying it herself). In fact, there are always people regardless of gender who do all things that might be considered "what boys/men do" and "what girls/women do."

I agree 100%. Nowadays things which were traditionally considered as belonging to boys/men or girls/women are no more. But when someone is asking me what is my opinion as a man, I will answer although I don't talk in the name of all men in this world. Just sharing my thoughts.
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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Sat Feb 08, 2014 5:35 pm

Irielo wrote:^ I think it depends how the guy sees the girl. If it's a friend of him or someone he respects, then he should have the guts and honesty to say that he already loves someone else.

If it's someone he does not really consider, then I think he won't really care.

But the worst imo is when the guy knows it and is not in love with the girl but tries to take advantage of the situation only for his own sake, if you get what I mean...

thanks for your feedback guys
umm irielo you are saying that he wouldn't care and just act like it doesn't matter if he doesn't consider the girl a friend but still talks to her. is that what you are saying in that second statement?

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:38 pm

^I was only trying to answer the question you've asked in this particular situation. So, according to it, the guy is not in love with the girl but with another one. If it's not at least a girl he appreciates or a friend, then it's very possible that he'll ignore her. However, if the guy is someone empathic, then he might understand her (and the situation) and tell her the truth by himself.


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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Sun Feb 09, 2014 3:50 am

Irielo wrote:^I was only trying to answer the question you've asked in this particular situation. So, according to it, the guy is not in love with the girl but with another one. If it's not at least a girl he appreciates or a friend, then it's very possible that he'll ignore her. However, if the guy is someone empathic, then he might understand her (and the situation) and tell her the truth by himself.


yh the girl likes him but he likes another girl.
what if the guy is an empathic guy but still will be awkward to talk to the girl who likes him in that light?

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:35 am

Hmm... I don't know really... The guy is maybe embarrassed or he might be afraid of hurting her feelings. That's why I think it would be better for the girl who is in love with him to go and talk to him directly for her to have a clear picture of his feelings. If he does not react positively then it's better for the girl to move on imo.

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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Sun Feb 09, 2014 9:06 am

the girl might be afraid to go up to him because it takes a lot of confidence for the girl to do this which the girl lacks.

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:31 am

lily567 wrote:the girl might be afraid to go up to him because it takes a lot of confidence for the girl to do this which the girl lacks.

I understand. It might become like a hide and seek game then... And on the long term, if the girl is still in love with a guy who loves another girl and who acts awkward when it comes to make things clear, then I hope for the girl that she won't suffer because of the situation... The girl is free to love the guy but if this love is going to be bad for her health, then it would be better to move on.

Anyway, the decision belongs to her and these are just my thoughts about this topic though.
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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:16 am

ok thank you

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Re: Relationships

Post by Fallere825 on Sun Feb 09, 2014 5:15 pm

lily567 wrote:I got a question

why would a guy feel awkward   to tell a girl  he is not interested and that he knows that the girl likes him but he likes someone else?

in a way wouldn't it hurt the girl even more if she had to find out from a friend and not the guy himself?

Everyone is different and true I can imagine it would hurt the girl more hearing it from someone else. For me having been in the guy's situation it wasn't so much that I felt awkward telling her. I knew it was what I should've done but the fear of hurting her feelings and the awkwardness that was bound to come after was what was stopping me. I valued her friendship and didn't want to lose it. I never lead her on but I never mentioned anything figuring/hoping she would just move on and forget about me like that. It isn't right but i'm just giving a suggestion as to what he may be thinking.   

The best thing imo (if the girl is serious) is for her to talk to him about it and work it out with him (this is not easy, I know lol but she has to determine if she is willing to sit around in the dark waiting to find out how he feels or not). I can't say for all guys but I appreciate when a girl can be straight forward with me like that. Yes it is almost like backing him into a corner lol but it does a couple of things:
1. It shows him how serious she is about it
2. It creates the opportunity to get the guy's view on the matter (especially if he is avoiding it)
3. The girl will no longer be in the dark about how he feels (good or bad result) - which is a big relief and allows her to decide what she will do from there.

I can say that cause I was on the girl's end as well. I liked a girl (she knew) and after a while I told her. Though she responded positively, she had liked someone else and after a bit of wondering what the situation really was, I sat her down and confronted her about it. I'm a shy guy (and it was worse back then) so it wasn't easy btw lol, but I was fed up of wondering how it was that she felt and just wanted to know where it was going. After talking about it, it was clear she liked the other guy and I respected that. I let her know I still felt the same but It wasn't always going to be like that. After that she thanked me for bringing it up with her and we moved on from there.

So the roles can very well be reversed and for the girl you mentioned. If she does not know that the guy likes another girl as yet. Some advice I would give her going into it is:
1. He can either respond positively or negatively. If he responds negatively, she will be hurt. Hurt and pain are facts of life, you cannot escape it but should learn from it. Accepting the possibility of being rejected and hurt (though it is hard) makes facing it a tiny bit easier because you're prepared and not blind sided.
2. There will be an awkwardness afterwards (can't run from it) how much awkwardness and for how long depends on the people involved and if they can power through it.
3. A more positive way to look at it is: there is a reason for everything right? Him not feeling the same way can be opening the way for an even better guy that she will bump into the next week or day (may sound like wishful thinking but you never know right?). Also it could just not be the right time...The girl I mentioned earlier that I did not feel the same about, after some unfortunate circumstances she moved on and forgot about me. Then after a year or 2 we bumped into each other again got close and actually got together. After getting together we both agreed it wasn't the right time before   

*drinks water* Of course like I started, everyone is different so none of the above may apply but it's just another point of view to use.  

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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:27 am

the guy told his friend which is also the girl's friend that he has someone he is interested in so he can't like the girl who likes him

thanks lickstermik and irielo for you view

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:27 am

lily567 wrote:thanks lickstermik and irielo for you view

You're welcome lily!
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Re: Relationships

Post by Severian on Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:07 am

eromreven wrote:I'm kinda nervous saying something to her. I don't want to push her or anything. I don't want to stop it, though, this is the happiest I've been in a long time and she's making it even better.

At a guess she doesn't know what to make of the relationship, it's hard to say much from what little I know but if I had to put a story to it, she obviously likes and on some level wants a relationship but something (possibly a previous bad experience) is holding her back. If you believe she's worth pursuing than take it slow, invite her for coffee and catch up etc, offer to help when the chance arises. Also, if circumstances arise don't be afraid to open to her with some of your inner secrets/ goals ambitions and hopefully she will reciprocate.

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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Sat Mar 22, 2014 6:52 am

why does a guy say mean things about a girl who likes him behind her back?

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:02 am

lily567 wrote:why does a guy say mean things about a girl who likes him behind her back?

Because the guy does not know what love means. He is not obliged to like the girl back but (I'm assuming) if he should at least respect the girl's feelings. If those feelings disturb him, he should have the guts to tell it to the girl. Hearing things which have been said behind is much more hurting than hearing them in a face to face interaction according to me.
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Re: Relationships

Post by lily567 on Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:16 am

I know he is not obliged to like her back. if he found fault with the girl with how she acts, then why couldn't he tell her upfront instead of saying things behind her back. and then one minute he is smiling at her and then the next minute it is as if he is ignoring her.

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Re: Relationships

Post by Irielo on Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:22 am

You know what? I think the girl should confront him and tell him about that, making him feel embarrassed for behaving like an hypocrite... For sure it would take some courage for the girl to do that but it would teach the guy a lesson about respect.

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Re: Relationships

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